oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
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I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize