it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
