this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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