Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
