I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
