and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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