I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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