the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
