youre lurking in front of me
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
