Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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