I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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