My brain says no but my pants say off.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize