i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
