we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you didnt know i had herpes?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
