I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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