My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
