but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
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You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
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I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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