MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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