Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
