There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
