She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
