i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize