he wants to bone in the snuggie
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
