There is no way he is gay with that hair.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
