We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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