i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
