remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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