Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
