I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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