Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
