Im at strip club and am horny
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
