I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
