Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
