Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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