Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
