youre lurking in front of me
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
