This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
