I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I didn't shave. On purpose
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
