I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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