Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
