Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
