she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize