did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
