But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
