Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
