dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
