So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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