Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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