Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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