and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
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that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
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You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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