did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
