I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize