The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Pooping to opera.
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