i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
