Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
