It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
