Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
