I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
