No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
