i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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