Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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