her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Who died my cat blue again?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
