Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Be still, my beating vagina.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
