were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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